Why Am I On This Bus

 I had decided to turn my life around and I moved away to another town and decided I was really going to try this time.  I’m on the bus traveling down Church Street and the bus crosses Chapel and picks up a traveler.  She gets on the bus and she has long extensions in her hair and she ever so loud.  I used to be..okay, I am still loud when I’m passionate about some topic.  Any who, I find myself unable to stop watching her and listening to her rant and rave about an incident with her son.  She goes on and on with no regard for the other passengers on the bus.  Just yelling and yelling and it occurs to me; I ask myself who is she talking to or at on the bus.  Well it would appear she is not talking to anyone or maybe no one is listening.  The most puzzling thing happened next she got off the bus at the very next stop.  I said to myself, geese she could have walked that distance and save the bus from hearing her rantings about her son.  Yea, she’s gone and off we go to our next stop. 

The bus begins to make a loud machine like noise and my first thought is, “oh no the bus broke down”.  Much, much to my surprise the bus has a hydraulic system that allows it to lower the front end and allow the steps to convert into a ramp.  In my infinite wisdom I had no idea this could happen.  Well on the bus comes this lady in a wheel chair.  She is a black woman and she has a look on her face.  I find myself honing in on this woman much like I did with the screamer.  Something about this woman draws me to her and at first I have no idea.  I’ve seen many folk in wheel chairs before and I sometimes feel sad, disconnected or have great empathy for them.  This day, this day is very different.  As I continue to try to assess why I’m so engaged with her I notice something amazing.  I look at her face and I think to myself based on her appearance.  This woman was not born with the affliction, this happened to her somewhere along her “own bus ride” however whatever it was, however it happened it was well with her soul.  The strangest thing happened next, we travel to the next bus stop she exists the bus. I’m thinking what is this The One Block Bus Tour? Don’t these folks know I’m trying to get home, it’s a lovely day, it’s Friday and I have laundry, ironing and cooking to do.  Why didn’t they walk or ride the one block.  When ding, ding, ding the light bulb goes off.  The first young lady reminded me of me just before I decided to turn my life around.  I was loud and saying nothing of any relevance.  The second lady the Conductor wanted me see because while I was in my mess a situation had occurred.

One evening after the poker games were over and I collected the “house” money.  I was ready to go party.  My then boyfriend was very opposed to this idea. He was so angry that his tone was not a deterrent to my desires that he reached in the nightstand drawer and took out the gun and shot at me.  I suppose he thought that would deter me.  Yea, no first of all I am a former Marine, if you can’t aim don’t shoot that thinking coupled with I was motivated at the time by forces unknown to me.  I had to go, in the works of Frears, S. (Director). (1988). Dangerous Liaisons [Film].  USA,   “It is beyond my control”.  At that point in my life nothing short of death was going to sway, hinder, deter or stop me from achieving my goal.

I was so very glad I had to opportunity to get on that bus to get a mirror image of me before and what I could have looked like if I had stayed on the Bus To No Where…